Consider Yourself Modified
by Yalime Alokin
Summary: Our friend wrote a movie, we have... modified it. It's sort of a Harry Potter spinoff, or at least it uses some of the characters. Best viewed in a large font.


KEY:

_Comments _

**Additions by Yalime and Alokin**

_Comments and additions by Inafets_

Things we want to point out without changing the text of the story, such as unnecessary capitalizations

Note that not all things that are unnecessarily capitalized are underlined.

WUED - wookie under extreme duress

Chapter 1: "I can Roller Blade!"

It was a bright sunny day of June the 13th. It was their second day of summer vacation. _Who we talkin' 'bout?? _The sun was burning hot; it felt like there was fire crackling on your sweaty neck. **Daniel was so hot he really did have a fire on the back of his sweaty neck**. Daniel and Christopher were shooting some hoops near the basketball hoop. _Where else?_

"Aha, I won-again!" said Daniel out of breath. _Who is Daniel-out-of-breath? Is he Daniel's evil twin??_

"This is the 9th time we played! I wonder why you are so good at basket ball." _Is this a question?_ Said Christopher comma panting like he ran the New York's running marathon. _What other kind of Marathon is there? Did she think that we would automatically assume she was talking about the city or the battle in Greece??_

"Let's have another game," said Daniel desperately, **clawing at Christopher's face in agony.**

"**PLEASE!!"**

"**Gerroff me!"**

"**NE JAMAIS!!!"**

"**um…."**

"**NEVER!!"**

"**Right.** Hmmmmm let me think am NO."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No, and I don't like Pretty."

"Fine then "ugly" Please?"

"No Dan, I promised Jesse and the others I would help them pour oatmeal in to Jessica's hair-" _Why oatmeal?? Why not like dirt or something? Oatmeal is a very odd thing to pour on someone's hair for no reason. That's so stupid. Besides, don't you have to kind of scoop it? Wouldn't you notice if someone_ _was scraping something out of a bowl above your head and run away??_ Said Christopher quickly and then put his hand on his mouth after he did.

"You WHAT????" said Daniel.

_(Who is saying this?)_ "Throwing Oatmeal in to Jessica's hair, She will not leave you alone until she poisons you! Plus you will grow another enemy, Emma, and **you will also grow a bunion!**

**Oh NO!! What's a bunion?**

**It's a bunny with an onion. They're good in soup.**

"Oh, well then I guess I have to make extra oatmeal for Emma then, See ya!" and before Daniel could say another word he went to Daniel's house. _Who is going to Daniel's house, Christopher or Daniel? And if it's Christopher, why's he going to DANIEL'S house? As it turns out, Christopher is Daniel's brother. But Meghana had to explain this to us. So we are totally justified for not knowing, because it is never mentioned. _ _Actually, this was one of the few parts of it I managed to get. But, whatever. We hate you with a deep, deep, firey passionful hateful hate._ Daniel followed him but turned to his friend's Jessica's house. Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, and Jessica Amos were his best friends. _Where did this come from?? It just popped out of nowhere, for no reason. It's just something random she put in the middle of a paragraph._ He met them on the first day of Kindergarten. He laughed as he remembered the unpleasant way of meeting Rupert for the first time. _What was this unpleasant way?_ He also had another friend Andy Smith whom _YAY!_ he was introduced to just last year. Daniel had very dark brown hair. Bright green eyes and was tall and skinny. _INCOMPLETE SENTANCES!!! AHHHHHHH!! I'M DYING!!!_ He was pretty hot. _Dude! Every one knows that word is spelled with two t's! Mercy Maud. This was the most random paragraph I have ever read; this is even more random than the thing my brother wrote about throwing money in the washing machine. What the halibut? _

"Hey Daniel honey." Daniel turned his head, his neck cracked **and his head fell off. He nonchalantly picked it up and put it back on. **

"Oh, hi Mrs. Grint, er-am well, is Rupert home?" _Why would Rupert be at Jessica's house?? Hm…. _

_It seems they all have SSS- stupid stutter syndrome. This an uncurable disease. Go to to raise money to find a cure for this deadly disease. _

"Oh, I am sorry, am, Rupert went out, honey, do you want some Orange juice, it's 123 degrees out side!" _Why orange juice?? And if you're going to exaggerate, you have to really exaggerate. It is possible for it to be 123 degrees outside. She should have put, it's like a million degrees outside, or something like that. _

"Er-No thanks I just want some water, thanks." _Since when did he get to be so polite?_ Daniel replied. She handed him a glass cup filled with water. _What's a glass cup??_

He was almost done with it when he asked,

"Where is Rupert Anyway? **Anyway????????? MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!"**

**Mrs. Grint seemed unperturbed by this strange outburst**. "Oh, am I thinking he went Roller B**al**ding." _Is this a question? She doesn't know what she's thinking?_ Daniel spit the last gulp _Didn't he already gulp_ _it down?? Did he regurgitate it?_of water out of his mouth, roller blading was the last thing he would see Rupert doing, just as Emma came through the door looking furious and Jessica followed her looking as though she swallowed a very juicy and disgusting bug. In her hair was lots of oatmeal. _This paragraph is: 1) gramatically incorrect 2) filled with stupid similes and 3)really, really random. And it doesn't make sense. But what else is new? Koi 2 9??_

"I- am-so-sorry!!" Daniel said as though he was reading a sentence for the first time, **or as though he was a robot, or both. **

"Oh, it's okay. I'll clean it up. Ha. **Ha ha ha. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"** She gave him a smile and went in to the kitchen. It took a moment for Daniel to realize Emma was speaking to him.

"-can't believe they would do such a thing! And to add in as a bonus they tried to put oatmeal in my hair too! Dan, Helloooo!" she said waving her hand frantically as thought she was trying very hard to get something off her hand. _::sigh:: Say that again, with about twenty less words, and you'll have a waaaaay better sentence. _

"Hello Dan!!" said Emma and Jessica together.

"Wha-o-ooo-hi. **Hey, you know, you're really ugly! I mean, I never noticed before, but when you sneak up on me like that it's like ahhhh and, don't ever do that again… I mean hi,"** said Daniel looking at the expression on their faces and the oatmeal in Jessica's hair. Jessica was skinny and tall and had shoulder-length, bright and very silky blonde hair which was straight and layer cut, she had bangs pulled to the side, had dark brown eyes, a very sweet smile. And was really pretty. _AAHHHHH!! THE INCOMPLETE SENTENCES AND COMMA SPLICES!!! POURQUOI?? POURQUOI???????_

"Was that Jesse, Alex, Christopher and Andrew who did that? **Not that I'm implying that I knew that beforehand or anything like that,"** said Daniel still eying the oatmeal.

_What, ya gonna start hitting on the oatmeal now, Danny?_

"Ya, and I can't even take a bath now the water is cold, _Two questions: 1)why is the water cold—it's the middle of summer and 2) why would she take a bath? Why not a shower? And if I had oatmeal in my hair, I would risk a cold shower for three minutes while I washed my hair. What a wimp_. I made sure Jesse was grounded, my mom was furious at him!" She said.

"And I made sure Alex was grounded too, My mom told him no T.V, video games, or computer for 2 weeks!" added Emma _comma_ grinning. Emma was tall and very skinny and had shoulder-length, bright and very silky light brown hair, which almost looked dark blonde, which was curly, and she had her bangs also pulled to the side. She had beautiful hazel eyes. Had a great smile and was very pretty. _It's like they're twins. EVIL TWINS!!! EVIL RUN-ON AND INCOMPLETE SENTENCE TWINS!!!_ _I would not describe Emma Watson as being tall. Nor would I ever, ever come straight out and say a character was 'pretty'—or 'hot,' for that matter. Shouldn't the author "show" and not "tell?"_

"And you are telling me this because why?" said Daniel as he helped Mrs. Grint clean the mess he made. _It takes two people to clean up one gulp of water? Clean up your own spit Danny-boy. What a loser. And a lazy one at that. He needs his friend's mommy to clean up his regurgitated body fluid._

"Well, let's see, I am going to make sure you and Rupert get Christopher and Andrew grounded too." _Do it yourself, you losers._ replied Jessica, as Emma was about to say the same thing. "OKAY" he lifted his hand and accidentally hit Mrs. Grint in the eye. **And then Emma pulled the joy buzzer off his hand. **

"SORRY Mrs.Grint" said Daniel through hushed breath.

"Oh its okay." She said in a bitter voice**." A voice like baked bacon** _(you'll get there… maybe)_ **with onion and parsley powder. **

"Let me help," said Daniel still in hushed breath. **His breath smelled like baked bacon with onion and parsley powder. **

"Oh. No thanks; I don't think I need your HELP any more. I am fine. **I am fine Daniel-san."**

"But-But-" said Daniel but before he had a chance to finish his sentence he caught Emma's eye , **threw it to home plate, **and nodded.

"Well, Bye then." Stammered Daniel. _So polite. And there's that SSS again_.

"Yeah, we'll be back with Rupert with as soon as we can." Said Jessica."

"er**m-** I don't mean to be rude or anything but why are you here and not my mom?" Said Jessica _comma _choosing her words carefully. **Very carefully.** _First it's Jessica's house, then it's Rupert's house, and now it's Jessica's house again._

"Oh, Your mom went to the mall with Adair _(LOOOVE that name),_ Lauren, Ginny, and Keely **the Banana Peely**. And I thought I would stay here with your mom but she left leaving me a note, and SO I am Baby-sitting_." Babysitting what? The super-rare yeast that needs feeding every ten minutes? The house? Is it a bad house?_

And she kept talking and talking for 10 minutes _Ten minutes is a **long** time_.and then stopped. _Ok-ay._

"Ah!" Said Emma giving Jessica a why-on-earth-did-you-ask-that-question look. **Daniel tried to shoot Jessica a why-on-earth-did-you-ask-that-question look too, but his facial muscles couldn't quite pull it off. It just came off as a I-have-an-overactive-bladder-where's-the-bathroom look.**

"Right, We'll just go then," said Jessica catching Emma's eye.

"erm- Where is Daniel?" As an answer to that they heard a glass cup fall on the floor in the kitchen. The three turned to look and Daniel was standing with the glass vase _wasn't it a cup a second ago? How do cups break? They're plastic!_ right under him or what used to be the glass vase **or cup. Or glass. Or whatever it was. **

"I was trying to take the water out of it _WHY?_ but my arm was too big. _WHAT?_ I was just trying to help." He finished.

"Oh, well, then erm- I – seriously suggest you to look in the dictionary and look up the word HELP." _Nice lady. Of course, I guess you have a right to be snappy if you just got joy-buzzered in the eye. And why does she care if he breaks a vase… it's not even her vase! That's because it changed back to Rupert's house again, remember? _Snapped Mrs. Grint. They quickly came out the door with Emma's giggles and Daniel 's sorries. _One would think the term utilized would be 'apologies,' but apparently not._

"**Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry"** When they finally turned to the corner, Jessica spoke up.

"Daniel, You do realize you will have to pay for the vase you broke right?" _IT CHANGED BACK TO JESSICA'S HOUSE AGAIN!! And why would she want her 'best friend' to pay for a dumb glass vase from Wal-Mart? How do you know it wasn't a family heirloom or something? I just know. There._

"Sure." Daniel snapped.

"It's dumb day." said Emma as Daniel stopped giving a sharp look at Jessica and turned distracte**dededed**dly to Emma. _Grammar………grammar………. ::squelch::_

"What?"

"It says so on my cell phone." said Emma quietly. **"My ALL-KNOWING cell-phone. It knows all!! I got it at K-Mart."**

"Oh, no" said Jessica

"**Oh no, dumb day, or oh no K-Mart? Or cell phone? Or all knowing?"**

"**What??"**

"**Oh no!!!! NOT DUMB DAY!!! THE WORLD'S GOING TO END!!!" Daniel took one rasping breath and fainted to the floor." **_Please note that any punctuation that we put in the wrong place is done on purpose, in keeping with the style of this piece_.

"That explains why I have oatmeal in my hair!" _She just went outside to walk around with the oatmeal still in her hair? If she's not going to wash it out, at least stay inside where no one can see you and make fun of you. Use your common sense, losers.._ **said Jessica, pleasantly oblivious to Daniel's trip down under.** _Australia!!! WHEEE!!!_

"Do you want to go back, because I don't mind." Said Daniel, **springing back up**. They both shook their heads and Daniel looked helplessly at the sky **and sniffled** as though it was his only help he had. The Radcliffes, Amos', Watsons and Grints (only children) I had a special day. Like Ice Cream day, Basketball day, swinging day, **pull random junk from the back of your pants Day, clean your toilet with a tooth brush Day, (although that lost popularity very quickly, that is, if you used your own tooth brush), clean the dog's food bowl with your mother's girdle Day, Maul an Old Lady with a Cat Day, eat chocolate bunnies Day, eat chocolate bunnies whilst parachuting off the roof into your mother's rose bush Day, Write only with pen Day, Write only with pen on your face Day, Jay walk on Broadway and Lexington Day, hijack a phone booth Day, Clog every toilet in the house day (you always hoped it never coincided with clean your toilet with a tooth brush day), pretend to be your favorite brand of zucchini Day, Wear your clothes inside out all day Day, liberate the munchkins from the helium factory Day, feed all the animals in the zoo _outside_ their cages Day, Go to Daytona for the day Day,** and so on when they were smaller, it seemed their siblings _thought they were only children!! Or did it mean, "only **the** children"?_ still go by those days. But only every summer they had dumb day. _THE RANDOMNESS!! NOOOOO!! And what is the significance of it being Dumb Day anyway? That's never really explained. Considering that they all react horribly to this news, it's only decent to explain why. Maybe it was just so terrifying they couldn't talk about it. It must have been on the same day as "Maul an old lady with a cat gone awry" day._

"Life as I know it is now officially OVER **THE HEDGE**." _Would you like that in writing?_ Said Jessica with an annoyed expression. **She suddenly collapsed to the floor, twitching and foaming at the mouth.** _Hey! What a coincidence! Me, too!_

"Gee. You think?" _Am I supposed to think that life is over? Because I wouldn't if I were in this situation._ said Daniel giving both of them a "duh" look. _What's a "'Duh' look"?_

"Why?" asked Emma.

"She already has oatmeal in her hair, as soon as we turn the corner something could spring right up!" explained Daniel about to turn in the corner of the street in their neighborhood.

"Oh, my gosh! Be careful.' Emma screamed which made Jessica and Daniel jump. ** It was quite an accomplishment for Jessica since she had been until recently unconscious on the ground. **

"**Oh look, Jessica's back." Daniel noted calmly. **

"**Gee, really? I hadn't noticed. Said Emma". **_Notice that Emma said all of this. Is she reading the italics in the script again or something? __Was she really? Hmm_. _You know we did that on purpose, right?_

"Why?" he asked.

"**Why what?" said Emma.**

"**Why….. uh… I forget. OH! I remember why should I be careful."** _Never, ever use capital letters to form whole words in formal fiction. Although I suppose if you about to play Harry Potter in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, you'd need all the practice you could get._ _Um, Inafets… who cares? We were trying to keep with the style of the piece.. ::Alokin gives Inafets a "duh" look::_

"You said something would spring up as soon as you turned." She said _comma_ looking scared.

"Oh boy, **cupcakes!****'** said Daniel because it was the only thing he could say. **What else can you say as you're pulling a package of cupcakes out of your pants? **

As soon as they turned the corner someone did walk up right in to Jessica, Andy. Their other best friend they met last year. Andy had light brownish, blondish hair that came out, _NO COMMA!_ as bangs on his forehead, which made him look really **hot and spicy. The first time Daniel saw him, he almost keeled over from the burn.** He had dark brown eyes that were **set** really deep **in his forehead. But you usually couldn't see them because of the bangs, and you could never see them from the side. It was pretty odd.** He was skinny and was a five inches shorter than everyone at school. _O-kay. Thanks for sharing. _

"Hi, guys." he said _comma_ waving to Dan who looked shocked and had turned to Emma. Andy sniffed **his armpit** and then looked around. ** "I smell… flesh!!" he growled, sniffing at Jessica. "Or is it oatmeal? I can never tell the difference." After a moment, he decided it indeed was oatmeal. **

'Ah, why do you smell like oatmeal?" _Was it cinnamon oatmeal? Cause you can't usually smell oatmeal. Or can you?_

"Maybe because I just got oatmeal dumped over my head. It's all Jesse's fault!" She said looking really angry. _Ooooh she's burning with rage!!_

"**Ooh, touchy," said Andy. "Are you PMSing? **

**Jessica ignored him.** "I'm going to get revenge on him. Oh, I hope that he turns in to a soccer ball and gets kicked into a graveyard or I hope he gets eaten by a huge T-rex or that he turned in to un-ironed pants and he gets ironed by a hot steamy ironer _anyone have an iron I can give to this poor soul? Preferably a labeled one?_ or that he turns into garbage and gets thrown down to the dump or I wish he gets run over by dad's car!" _Or gets eaten by a tortoise wearing a jester suit riding the Santa float at the Macy's Parade throwing peanuts to the poor impoverished inhabitants of Timbuktu. Or gets crushed by a flying house containing a ham, some dingy furniture, an annoying little girl who's twenty-five years old and a dog whom nobody ever shuts up about. Or maybe gets a wart. But just maybe._ _We've taught you well._

Daniel and Emma looked like baked bacon, **burned from the heat of Jessica's rage**, but Andy went on: _didn't Jessica start the sentence? If he didn't start in the first place, how did he go on?_

"How about he turns in to a marble and goes in to the mouse hole!" _That one was pretty lame._

"Oh, Andy grow up!" said Jessica shooting him a furious look. _Wasn't she the one who started all this_ _immaturity??_

"Sorry _comma_ I was just trying to help."

"**Oh, well, then er- I – seriously suggest you to look in the dictionary and look up the word HELP."** Dan cleared his throat and opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again and then once more opened his mouth and said: _She could have said that in about two words. Or less. She didn't need to give us the whole slow complicated thought process. In fact, she probably would have been better off if she just hadn't said anything at all. D'accord._

"That's pretty, er- intriguing _am-er- interesting choice of words_. and-"But Jessica didn't get to hear what else her comment about Jesse was because Emma broke it off **like a piece of bacon from a christmas tree. It was pretty hot, I mean, pretty, I MEAN, EVIL! AHHH! EVILLLLLL!**

"I think that's pretty harsh and very rude of you. Okay he is kind of pathetic and kind of a freak but-" _Who we talking 'bout?_

"Kind of a freak? He is a 100 freak, a dork, a jerk, a dirk dirk_: a small, ten-inch blade used by sailors in the eighteenth century_, a worm, a geek, _I don't think he'll ever recover from these devastating blows._ and a…. a… he threw oatmeal in my hair! _What's a "he-threw-oatmeal-in-my-hair? Is it a kind of fish? I've heard better comebacks from a turkey sandwich!!_ And I just finished dying it and I straightened it too!" she bellowed _comma _pointing at her hair. _Does she mean drying, or didJessica really just finish dying her own hair? Is she prematurely gray? It wouldn't surprise me, being forced to play out this rubbish._

"I look like frosty the snowman except that instead of frost AKA snow its oatmeal!" _uh….._ she cried

"Is that supposed to be funny?" asked Andy.

Jessica gave him a forced smile. **"Yes."**

"**Oh.** Fine." He said back. _Je ne le comprends pas……._

"Let's just go find Rupert and see what he is up to. **Or down to,"** Said Andy looking kind of scared because Jessica's and Emma's lack of discipline. _If I was afraid of lack of discipline, I would have died of fright a long time ago._ Daniel nodded. Emma drew a deep breath and then nodded**. Then she turned blue because she forgot to let it out again. And then the meatloaf nodded. And then the cheese nodded. And then the bunion nodded. And then the… geez this is getting old fast. **

Emma walked away from Jessica and slid in between Andy and Daniel. _Ew._ Jessica opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by Daniel.

"Hey, there's Rupert!' All four of them turned and saw Rupert not remotely but pretty far away **from the lampost in Narnia…Oh, wait, wrong story. Darn. It would have been a refreshing change.  
**f**ro**m them. She, Andy _Do you have something you'd like to share with the group, Andy?_ started running towards him. When they did reach him Andy raised one of his eyebrow _(One of his eyebrow, eh?)_ and backed up.

Rupert's eyes _comma_ which were normally pacific blue _comma _were now ruby red. _Like blood…. ( insert Darf Wader breathing here._ _DARF WADER!!! I LOVE THAT!!!_

'What the **BEEEEEP**?" went Andy _Yalime: CENSORED!_

Rupert was on his roller blades and was holding on to the street lamp.

"Rupert are you okay?' _Does it look like he's okay??_ Emma flinched as Rupert turned to her and opened his mouth. He had vampire looking teeth. _Fine then. Not Darf Wader, Dracula_. _No, no, love, Dwacula_. This was very odd. _No really?_ I mean it, he usually didn't look like this. _Notice how it suddenly becomes first person_. He was tall and skinny and was very good looking. He had flaming red hair, pacific blue eyes, and a cool smile and was very good _RUN ON SENTENCES!_ at expressing expressions on his face. _Where else? Wouldn't you like to know..._Although they never noticed before they were positive he had no vampire teeth.

Rupert smiled and said:

"I can roller blade." _One will note that although they make a huge deal out of this and it's the title of the chapter and everything, it has almost nothing to do with the eventual story. What little story there is, at any rate._

"What?"

'I can roller blade." Rupert spoke back to Daniel. He let go off the lamp and fell down and got back up. Then he stood up and tried again and fell down again. But he merely shook his head and tried three more times. Every time he fell down. Each time all he said was:

"I can roller blade!" and smiled.

"This is weird. Weirder than weird and I know weird because my brother is weird. **Weird. Weird weird werid weird. Weird weird." **Whispered Jessica. There was a jet of electrical blue light when the four of them stepped back and Rupert fell down. _Did the electrical blue light come because the four of them stepped back and Rupert fell down or was the four of them stepping back and Rupert falling down a result of the electrical blue light? Or, as I suspect, are they totally unrelated and just stuck in the same sentence for kicks? __Do you call that a SENSE-tence.. am.. anyways, It doesn't make any sense._ There was silence, which was broken off **like a chunk of mutton** by Jessica who stepped forward. **Although it wasn't exactly breaking the silence.**

"What do you think you are doing?" said Andy with a worried look on his face. **There. _He_ broke the silence.** All of them looked kind of scared and worried as Jessica stepped forward. She placed a comforting hand on Rupert's shoulder and jumped back and held Daniel's hand **and then she did a cartwheel and grabbed Andy's hand. And then she did a roundoff off a cliff that suddenly appeared at the end of the sidewalk. **

"What?" said Rupert as if nothing had happened He had his blue eyes back and as he spoke they realized he had normal teeth again.

'What?" he said again now looking worried that his friends were looking nervous. Emma decided to handle this. "You were…I… you had those red eyes." She said **as she pointed **to her **own** eyes. **She poked herself, took several steps backwards, blinking tears out of her eyes, and joined Jessica over the side of the cliff. Luckily, she grabbed hold of a tree that was sticking out of the side and climbed back up like they do in movies. **

"And those sharp teeth**," she continued calmly. "Y**ou were saying "I can roller blade' or something over and over again and you kept falling and there was this electrical thing and you…Is this because today is dumb day…is this some kind of joke?" she finished **p**astily.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I mean you really gotta calm down."

"But you-"

"Really what are you talking about?" _(Think, children. Would a fifteen-year-old-boy with the intelligence of Rupert's character use such a phrase?)_ said Rupert now moving his eyes from Emma to Andy to Dan to Jessica as though somebody was going to jump out and shout APRIL FOOL! _There was a line almost exactly like this in one of the HP books. _

"Andy you saw him, He was-" Jessica stammered

"**OH LOOKIE! Jessica's back," exclaimed Andy, almost having a hernia. He wasn't used to the cycle.**

"**That seems to be happening a lot," remarked Daniel coolly as he examined his fingernails.**

"**Well you did the same thing," snapped Jessica angrily.**

_If you're still reading this and are confused, go back a few lines and skip all the blue and red text so it will make sense. _"Roller blading.' Andy finished with a wink. Jessica caught Andy's eyes and could read that he wanted to talk about this later. _Whatever. He communicated this with a wink?? Why not a meaningful look or an Irish jig or something? Or Canadian sign language. What is it with you and Canada? Yalime: Inafets just likes Canada. Alokin: Whatever, loser. Yalime: …. I hate you…… I hate you, Alokin, with a deep, deep hate. Alokin: …._

"Right." Emma finally said looking nervous. _Why nervous?? Maybe she realized that her character is a moron and can't quite handle the information._

"Let's just go and get Jesse and see that movie we were planning to _see? _today." _They were going to 'today' it. Duh._ Said Daniel. Emma and Andy nodded and forced a grin on their faces. _Again, where else?_

"Are you sure there is nothing wrong here?" said Rupert

"**Oh, nothing's wrong….for me….," said Daniel**

"**Daniel honey, you're crushing my hand." Andy crushed the pop can he was holding into a small slice of aluminum balsa wood. **

"**BALSA WOOD!" exclaimed Rupert.**

"**I said, nothing's wrong….for me….," said Daniel, crushing Jessica's hand again.**

"**I love balsa wood. It's very good on toast. And in orange juice."**

"**What??" remarked Andy.**

"**I SAID…."**

"**Yes, yes, Daniel, honey, we all heard you."**

"**Then why aren't you answering?"**

"**BALSA WOOD!"**

"**Well, what do you want us to say?"  
"Something about asking me what I mean, and then I'd say "Oh, something's wrong for Rupert", and then someone would ask "what" and I'd say, "his face" and it would all be very funny and cool."**

**There was a moment of silence.**

"**Whatever you say, honey." Daniel flexed his arm and made a very would-be macho face. **

"**I am so witty, I almost die from the wit!"**

"**Balsa wood is wittier than you, loser," muttered Rupert.** _Note from Alokin: This whole conversation is inspired by The Increasingly Inaccurately named Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy._

They all nodded **in agreement** and started to walk home. Then only did Jessica and Daniel just realized they were still holding hands they unfolded their arms. _Only then did Jessica and Daniel realize they were still holding hands, and they quickly dropped their arms to their sides._ Jessica smiled and raced off to talk to Emma who was still thinking of what happened over her mind. Daniel blushed and followed her. _I love a man who's in touch with his feminine side. Girls in general love that. I think Danny's going to be very lucky with the ladies. Or not. Of course, when he's pushing his girlfriends over cliffs… or wait… I mean… idk. Well, since every single person in this particular universe seems to be all-surpassingly attractive, he'll need a feminine side if he wants to get any attention at all._


End file.
